5/17/07

Support group is a godsend for the grieving
By Brian Jarvis

BRIAN JARVIS/Manning Times

Participant Elizabeth Dukes takes a break from painting to share a moment with facilitator Jane Gibson.

For the half dozen women in the room, the Manning Grief Group is a place to share both laughs and tears, to listen and to be heard, to hurt and to heal. Some have lost spouses, parents, or children as recently as the last six months; others have faced divorce or life-threatening illnesses; still others have endured devastating combinations at the same time.

“Grieving is a real personal experience,” said facilitator Jane Gibson. “To come to a forum is daunting because people think, ‘Oh my goodness, what if I get upset and start crying?’ But once folks move past that, they find it very rewarding because they get so much out of it, even if they don’t participate.”

Today the activity is watercolors, as Natalie Grant’s “To Be Held” softly plays in the background. For participants, painting offers a chance to explore their inner selves through a creative exercise.

“It can’t all be expressed through words,” said Gibson, who used to paint pictures of her son while he was overseas in Iraq. “People who have a passionate pastime heal faster, especially if they can find something to create that gives them fulfillment, and then share that with somebody else.”

For participant Alice Dupont, whose husband Ray died two years ago, the group has provided her with a common bond among others who have suffered broken hearts.

“If you think you don’t need a support group, you might want to look at that again,” said Dupont, noting that no one is expected to show emotion or act a certain way. “Don’t let anyone tell you how to grieve.”

“I enjoy our laughter,” added participant Royetta Shick. “Besides hurt, there is still laughter. It’s not always sitting here crying.”

According to bereavement coordinator Mary Beth Lamey, who also facilitates the group, grief can interfere with normal functions like driving a car or having a conversation.

“It’s important to be as healthy as possible while grieving,” Lamey said. “This creates a place they can go and feel safe to talk with others who can relate.”

Having first convened in March, the Manning Grief Group meets every other week at the New Covenant Presbyterian Church and will graduate this summer. So far the group is all women, nearly all of who have grown children if not grandchildren, but Gibson hopes the group will expand to include men as well as more members of the black community.

“It’s an amazing group,” Gibson said. “It’s been awesome to sit there and witness such strength of the human spirit.”

To sign up for the next 12-week session of the Manning Grief Group or for more information, contact Jane Gibson at 803-905-7720. There is no charge to join.